Faith and Doubt - 4-24-22
Faith and Doubt
Ps 150; John 20:19-31
Ps 150
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty firmament! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his surpassing greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with clanging cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
John 20:19-31
When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.
Prayer – O Lord, a person who is not afraid of the mystery understands that faith and doubt are two sides of the same coin. It seems that the greater our faith the more doubt is cast upon it – help us to trust that doubt is not a bad thing, but just a part of the faith journey. And Lord, help us to trust even more that faith in a journey and not a guilt trip – amen.
If I were to mention the names of certain disciples to you and ask you to write down the first word that comes to mind, it is unlikely you would come up with the same words. If I were to mention the name of Judas many of you would write down the word ‘betray,’ but not all of you. If I were to mention Simon Peter, some of you would write down the word ‘faith,’ but not all of you. If I were to mention the names of James and John, some of you would write down the phrase ‘Sons of Thunder,’ but not all of you. But when I mention the name Thomas, there is little question what word most everyone would write down. It would be the word – doubt. Indeed, so closely have we associated Thomas with this word, that we have coined a phrase to describe him, “Doubting Thomas.”
You may be interested to know that in the first three gospels we are told absolutely nothing at all about Thomas. It is in John’s gospel that he emerges as a distinct personality, but even then there are only 155 words about him. There is not a lot about this disciple in the bible but there is more than one description.
When Jesus turned his face toward Jerusalem the disciples thought that it would be certain death for all of them. Surprisingly, it was Thomas who said: “Then let us go so that we may die with him.” It was a courageous statement, yet we don’t remember Thomas for that. We also fail to point out that in this story of Thomas’ doubt we have the one place in all the gospels where the divinity of Christ is bluntly and unequivocally stated. It is interesting, is it not, that the story that gives Thomas his nickname, is the same story that has Thomas making an earth shattering confession of faith? Look at his proclamation, “My Lord and my God.” Not teacher; not Lord; not Messiah – but God! It is the only place where Jesus is called God without qualification of any kind. It is uttered with conviction as if Thomas was simply recognizing the fact, just as 2+2=4, and the sun is in the sky. That type of proclamation does not reflect the words of a doubter, or are they?
The story of Thomas has always been one of my favorites. Of course, it’s not just a story about Thomas. It’s also a story about frightened disciples, filled with both faith and doubt. Scared, in fact, so scared they were hiding behind locked doors. And who can blame them? They had just witnessed the one they confessed to be the Messiah betrayed by one of his closest friends, tried and convicted by both religious and civil authorities, and then brutally executed. Little wonder they were afraid, assuming that the next step would be to round up Jesus’ followers. But when Jesus comes on the scene, their fear falls away and is replaced by joy.
Perhaps as I noted last week it is about experiencing the risen Christ. This, I think, is the way we assume faith should work. Yes, perhaps you’ve got doubts and questions and fears, but then God arrives and those all fall away, replaced by joy and wonder and, of course, unshakeable faith.
But that’s not the way it works with Thomas. He doubts, he questions, he disbelieves. He’s not satisfied with second-hand reports and needs to have his own face-to-face with the risen Lord. Who can blame him? He was, after all, one of those who saw his friend mistreated, beaten and then crucified and has probably spent the last several day trying to pull the broken pieces of his life back together like Humpty Dumpty. In fact, he may have already tried to move on with his life, why else, I wonder, may he be out and about when the rest of the disciples are hiding behind locked doors.
So how do we make room for doubters like Thomas in our world? Because I suspect, if you are anything like me, you have had times of questions and doubts when you felt God’s absence. I can imagine, most, if not all of us have had those times when doubt reared its head and our faith felt like it was somewhere out the door.
Doubt as defined in Webster’s is “a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction” and I’m sure many people would pair doubt as the opposite of faith. And I would probably be the first to admit that at one time I would agree with that comparison, but as I have gotten older and hopefully more mature in my faith, I have learned that many of the certainties of faith that sustained me for many years are not quite so certain any more. For example, I have some doubts related to a long held belief in regards to atonement and whether a God of love needs a blood sacrifice in order to offer forgiveness. Another long held belief of faith was the certainty of hell for all those folks who were evil, or didn’t live a Christian life. Like many theologians and scholars today, I doubt there is a hell, i.e., a place where God will send those who just can’t accept God’s grace; yet if there is a hell, then where does God’s grace for all fit? And so I have great doubts of there being a place called hell.
Still another long held faith belief is around the concept of ‘original sin.’ The idea of ‘original sin’ deems that all humans are objects of God’s anger from conception on and, thus, Adam and Eve’s deed of disobedience has become hardwired sinfulness into us all. Not only that, but for many Christians, humans now actually bear the guilt of what Adam and Eve did. But nowhere in the OT is Adam and Eve’s disobedience in the Garden of Eden described as the cause of universal sinfulness and guilt. Adam and Eve are introduced in Genesis 2 and live faithfully in the Garden according to scripture. In Genesis 3, Eve is out crafted by the talking serpent, takes a bite of the forbidden fruit, and then hands it to Adam who does likewise. All three parties are cursed by God for their individual part in the drama. But note for Adam and Eve the consequences are lasting – growing food will be hard work and childbirth will be painful and death will be a fact of life. Note what is NOT said, “And a third thing, Adam and Eve, from now on all humanity will be stained by your act, born in a hopeless and helpless state of sin, thus earning my displeasure and making them all subjects of my wrath.” IF Genesis said that, perhaps the idea of original sin would have a little more traction in my reforming theology. But it doesn’t, and so I have a fair amount of doubt about what has sustained my faith for a long time.
All of which has led me to wonder, how do faith and doubt go together rather than maintain a sense of separateness? As a resurrection people can we let go of our need to hide, let alone banish, our doubts? As a resurrection people can we believe in spite of and alongside of our doubts?
I believe that as a resurrection people, we don’t have to have it all figured out before showing up on Sunday morning. I believe that as a resurrection people, we don’t have to have it all figured out before helping out a neighbor, or feeding someone who is hungry, or caring for someone in need. If we have to figure it all out ahead of time, then we’ll never get started. Because frankly, haven’t you ever wondered if your acts of kindness and mercy, your acts of care and compassion really make a difference? There are so many people who are hungry – will the few that I help really change things? There is so much hurt in the world – does the hand I extend or listening ear I offer really change that? I believe they do – but I, like you, at times wonder – and doubt. And yet because we are a resurrection people, we believe, as well as doubt, and believing, even in this more fragile way, we act – we reach out, we feed, we care, we tend, we struggle, we work, we love, all without guarantees, just a promise from the Lord who continues to bless those who believe amid their doubts and keep their faith amid their uncertainties.
Perhaps you are like me and have become more and more uncomfortable with certitude. Perhaps there is nothing that turns me off of a person of faith than the one who thinks they have all of the answers. In my faith journey I have learned over time that questions and doubts are simply the other side of faith. Questions and doubts have a way of taking me deeper into my faith – wrestling and struggling and all the while becoming more open and accepting of the aspects of faith that I just don’t know or understand.
It reminds me of my early chaplaincy days in Richmond where I was the chaplain for the HIV floor and the AIDS clinic at MCV Hospitals. In the early 90’s there were lots of questions and fears around HIV. In the religious world at that time, HIV was seen as a curse on many because of their sexual orientation – something I never believed and always doubted. But still as a chaplain, that was what many of the patients I worked with expected from the chaplain. It took a while for me to break through their doubts, their questions until they realized that I accepted them as precious children of God and not as some ‘going to hell sinner.’ It took my being with those patients in their struggles, non-condemning, non-judgmental, caring and compassionate for them to begin to share their faith with me. What teachers those men and women were for me – and my life has been enhanced by the times we shared.
Faith and doubt are not mutually exclusive in the arenas of faith and life. I can remember a sixteen year old youth at the Montreat Youth Conference who once said to me in small group – “the greater your faith the bigger the doubts.” Thomas may have had some doubts – who wouldn’t, everything he experienced and learned while a disciple seemed to come tumbling down on Good Friday – he was a realist who needed to see for himself. But something else we need to remember about Doubting Thomas – the Risen Lord blessed his faith amid his doubts. And so, the good news is that the Risen Lord is strong enough to bless our faith while also bearing our doubts, and use even people who have doubts to make a difference in this world that God loves so much – so maybe faith and doubt can go together – and we are blessed – thanks be to God – amen.