Stormy Weather - Faith & Doubt 8-13-23
Stormy Weather – Faith and Doubt
1 Kings 19:9-18; Matt 14:22-33
1 Kings 19:9-18
At that place he came to a cave, and spent the night there. Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.” He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.” Then the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king over Aram. Also you shall anoint Jehu son of Nimshi as king over Israel; and you shall anoint Elisha son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah as prophet in your place. Whoever escapes from the sword of Hazael, Jehu shall kill; and whoever escapes from the sword of Jehu, Elisha shall kill. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”
Matt 14:22-33
Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Prayer - Saving God, we frequently find ourselves in storms and darkness, afraid and feeling all alone; uncertain where you may be, doubting that you care enough to save us from our plight. Remind us once again Lord that faith and doubt are two sides of the same coin, that we are never too far from your sight, we are never out of your loving reach, and that in the midst of life’s storms, you will lift us up and hold us securely in your grace and love – amen.
There were three ministers out fishing together in a small boat. One of them, suddenly realizing that he had left his tackle box in the cabin, stepped out of the boat, and walked on the water to shore, got his tackle box and walked back across the water and got in the boat. A few minutes later, the second minister realized that he had forgotten his faithful fishing hat on the front seat of the car. He too stepped out of the boat and walked across the water to shore, got his hat out of the car and walked back. When they both had settled into the boat, the third minister who had watched this remarkable demonstration of faith with mouth open and eyes wide, reasoned to himself, “My faith is as strong as theirs. I can do that too.” So he stepped out of the boat and promptly sank to the bottom. His two companions dragged him back into the boat. The third minister was determined not to be shown up and stepped out of the boat once more, and immediately sank again. As his friends pulled him out, he sputtered, “My faith is as strong as yours. Why can’t I walk on the water?” The first two ministers looked at one another and one finally said, “I guess we ought to tell you where those rocks are before you drown yourself.”
After feeding the five thousand plus people by the sea, Jesus commands his disciples to head across the sea without him while he remains on shore to send the crowds on their way and then spend some time on the mountain to grieve John’s murder, perhaps to question God why John had to die, perhaps to find some solace and comfort without the crowds tugging and pulling at him. While the disciples are crossing the sea that dark night, a storm arises that threatens to engulf them. They spend the better part of that dark and stormy night trying their best to stay alive and stay afloat. In the early hours of the morning, probably between 3 and 6 a.m., having concluded his time away, Jesus strides across the sea as if walking on unseen stones to meet his faithful disciples.
Mistaking Jesus for a wave-walking specter, the disciples grew even more alarmed as he draws near. In response, Jesus reassures them that it is he who is coming to them – but I can imagine that in the midst of that storm, even the faithful disciples had their doubts. Jesus’ encouragement works . . . and then some, as Peter boldly asks if he might join Jesus out on the water. When you think about it, Peter’s request is quite strange. Why not, “Lord, if it is you, tell us what we had for supper last night,” or “Lord, if it is you, make this storm stop right now” or “Lord, if it is really you, can we trust that you will be with us always”? But none of those are the test that Peter proposes. “Come” says Jesus, taking away Peter’s doubt, giving him some faith.
And so with the waves crashing into the side of the boat, the wind whistling through the sail, Peter swings his legs over the side of the boat, while the other disciples watch with their hearts beating in their mouths, Peter places his feet on the surface of the water, takes a huge, trembling breath and stands up. At first confident given Jesus’ promises, Peter soon remembers the height of the waves and the depth of the sea and begins to doubt, lose heart, and sink like a rock. Crying out to Jesus to save him in his doubt, Jesus reaches down into the tumult and quickly saves Peter from the stormy waters. And then those awful words, ‘you of little faith, why did you doubt?’
These are the words none of us ever want to hear addressed to us, and yet, these are the same words many of us ask ourselves every day. Why don’t I have more faith? Why can’t I trust God? Why am I afraid to let go and let God care for me? Why do I doubt? I believe I am in God’s hands and they are good hands, but then I lose my job and can’t find another or my dad gets sick or my husband starts drinking again or my girlfriend broke up with me or I stole some stuff from work, and my faith goes right out the window and I begin to sink like a rock in the ocean and my need for God’s saving hand becomes painfully clear.
Part of what intrigues me about this passage is how it reveals something deeply true about humanity, as I have a hunch we are a lot like those disciples who were caught out in the dark and stormy night. I know, at least, that I have often overlooked God’s presence in the peaceful and pleasant moments of my life, but when the dark nights and the fearful storms of life have encroached into my pleasant and peaceful moments, I have shouted out for God to save me as well, even when I have brought the storms down on myself.
Why do we doubt? Because we are afraid, because the sea is vast and we are so small, because the storm is so powerful and we are so easily sunk, because life is beyond our control and we are so helpless in its grip. Why do we doubt? Because we are afraid, even when we do have faith. We do have faith you know. We all have some faith though at times it never feels like enough. Like Peter, we have a little, and a little is better than nothing, even though there are times when it does not seem we have enough to save us.
Like Peter, we have faith and we have doubt, in fact I think they are the two sides of the same coin, so we try to walk with Jesus and we fail, we take a few steps and then get scared or think we can do it on our own and sink crying out, “Lord, save me .” “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Hearing that, most of us count ourselves as failures, but I wonder. Can you imagine the story turning out any other way?
What if Peter had not sunk? What if he had jumped out of the boat with perfect confidence and faith, landed splat with both feet flat on the water and smiled across the waves at Jesus, gliding towards him without a moment’s hesitation without a doubt in the world? What if the other disciples had followed Peter out of the boat and with perfect faith romped on the water while the storm raged and the wind beat the sails and lightening split the dark above their heads? What if – those words of doubt – what if?
It would be a different story. It might even be a better story, but it would not be a story about you and me. The truth about us is more complicated. The truth about us is that we obey and fear, we walk and sink, we believe and doubt. But it isn’t like we only do one and not the other. We do both. Our faith and our doubt are not mutually exclusive; they both exist in us at the same time, buoying us up and bearing us down, giving us courage and feeding our fears, supporting our weight on the wild seas of our lives and sinking us like stones – two sides of the same coin.
This is why we need Jesus. This is why we would not be caught dead on the water without him. Our fears and doubts may paralyze us, but they are also what make us cry out for his saving touch, so how can that be all bad? If we never sank – if we could walk on water just fine all by ourselves – we would not need a savior. We could save ourselves from all of the fears and doubts that trouble the faithless if we never sank. But that isn’t our reality is it.
But this story doesn’t just tell us about ourselves; it tells us also about God. No matter what it is that reminds us of our need for God, still God responds. Just as Jesus reassures the disciples and reaches out to pull Peter out of the stormy waters, so also God responds to us with compassion and support in trying times. Jesus didn’t reject Peter as he cried out in doubt; he saved him, pulling him out of the abyss.
Some folks will tell you that they think doubt is a sin, that it shows a lack of faith. Some 30 years ago I was working my way through seminary as a youth minister. I had a sixteen year old girl say to me one Sunday evening, “I believe that the stronger one’s faith, the stronger the doubts they encounter.” Now some folks would say that is the Evil One’s attempt to dissuade faith. I would suggest as I have said before that faith and doubt are the two sides of the same coin called belief, they come out of the same place in our hearts and souls. One does not equate with the other, they both have a place in our spiritual walk; perhaps one may inform the other. I’ll remind you that the perfectly human and perfectly divine Jesus questioned God in the garden of Gethsemane and cried out in despair from the cross; so I would say that doubt is a real part of faith, even Jesus’ faithfulness, and not something to be judged as failure.
Let’s not forget how this particular story of faith and doubt ends. Rather than punishing Peter for getting caught up in the storm of doubt, Jesus reaches down and pulls him to safety, returning him to the safety of the boat with the other disciples. It is then that fear turns to awe, complaints turn to praise, that fear and doubt are transformed once more into faith. We learn that a disciple is not a person who never fails. Rather, a disciple is one who fails and sinks again and again; but also the one, who trusting even in doubt, that God, will save.
Our doubts, fearsome as they are, remind us, who we are, and whose we are, and whom we need to in our lives to save our lives. When we sink, as Peter does, as we all do, our Lord reaches out and catches us, responding first with grace, and then by assessing our faith, but never, NEVER, with rejection. He returns us to the boat, knowing full well the reason we are in the boat in the first place is because we believe, or want to believe, and because we mean to follow him through all of our doubtful days and nights.
Friends, we come here each week, we go out into the world each day, as disciples caught between faith and doubt. My hope and my prayer for us as it is for me, is that we will look for the Holy Hand stretching toward us through the storms, that we will venture out despite our fears and doubts, that when we begin to sink, with humble and thankful hearts we will allow God to save us in the midst of our doubt. This is the good news of the Gospel – thanks be to God – amen.
Adapted from Barbara Brown Taylor’s sermon, ‘Saved by Doubt’, The Seeds of Heaven, pp. 55-60